Take My Breath Away
by Ster J
Summary: Spock's friends' thoughts after the fal-tor-pan. No slash intended, just devoted friendship.


Title: Take My Breath Away

Author: Ster Julie

Rating: PG

Codes: TOS; ensemble

Summary: Spock's friends' thoughts after the _fal-tor-pan_

A/N: 1. Thanks to Live Search for helping me locate the legends of the Cailleach, the Snowmaiden, and the Kitsune. It's true. You can find _anything_ on the Web!

2. No specific relationships were intended, just devoted friendship. Read into this what you may.

--ooOoo--

He takes my breath away. Spock is standing there on that rise in his white robes, looking down at us, backlit by the blasted, blazing Vulcan sun, and he looks like Christ up from the grave. I'm a doctor, and I can't even begin to understand how you died such a horrible death then were regenerated, much less put back together body and soul. Do you know me, Spock? Do you remember what we were to each other? Will it ever be the same?

He takes my breath away. He stands there on the rise, ethereal, glowing white. He looks like an angel. Can you still read my heart, my love? We used to speak volumes to each other with the tiniest of glances. Well, read this, mister. Love brought us together, love brought us through the horrors of your death, love brought you back to us, and love will heal us all. All my hopes.

He takes my breath away. I gave up everything to bring him back, my ship, my career, my _son_. Sometimes I ask myself if it was worth it, but then I see him as he is now, standing on that outcropping of rock _alive_ and I am overcome by the wonder of it all. Come back to me, Spock. I want to touch you once more and feel your mind brush up against mine. I want to tease you and see you pretend not to understand. I want to go out and save the day again, but I can only do that if I know you've got my back. I'm dead inside without you. Come back to us all. Come back to _me_.

He takes my breath away. He stands there in front of the sun, looking like he is floating in its nimbus, as if his _katra_ is not yet fully encased in his body. He is as he always was in my childhood--guardian guide, father protector, champion. He was my only warmth, and when he died my own heat bled out from me. I see him standing above us but I feel not his warmth. I know it is illogical, puerile fantasies, but … I want things back the way they were. I want you to be the strong one for me because I am uncertain; I do not know how to be strong for you.

He takes m' breath away. We have served longer together than the others, and he's never ceased to amaze me. But in all those years together, this is the biggest surprise he's ever managed. Just how many rabbits do ye have in tha' magic hat of yours, Spock, old friend? Och, but it's hellishly hot here. Lookin' at ye up there all dressed in white ye remind me of the Cailleach, but then it would be a might colder here if ye were. No matter. Ye've pulled me own haggis out the fire many a time, so, hot or cold, ye'll get nothin' but m' best to get this old rust bucket understood and space worthy.

He takes my breath avay. It must be dis heat, but vhenever I look up at that cliff and see Meester Spock standing dere in his vhite robes, I tink it's de Snowmaiden come to life. I vonder how she can be standing in de sun and not melt, but den I realize dat it is Spock, and vunce again, I am owercome by de heat. But, you know vhat? I tink dat, just like de Snowmaiden, it is a miracle dat Spock is even standing dere.

He takes my breath away. He reminds me of the legends of the Kitsune, intelligent fox-like beings with magical abilities. Spock is surely intelligent, and after his _fal-tor-pan_, I think he is _definitely_ magical. I have worked with him for many years, and I have frequently heard him say, "There are always possibilities," but rising from the dead? That really takes my breath away!

They take my breath away. I look down at the Starfleet officers working with the Vulcan technicians and mechanics side by side in heat to which I know they are unaccustomed. The reflection of the sun off my white robes has distorted my vision and I see them through a red haze. I have told my mother about this and, in her most illogical, human fashion, she has told me that this red haze is from the love with which my crewmates labor for me. I know that there must be a scientific, medical reason for this red nimbus around my friends, but no one has come up with a satisfactory answer. I know that they have sacrificed so much for me, Admiral Kirk most of all. I do not understand why. I merely took the most logical course of action and considered the needs of the many. The admiral has further confused me by explaining his actions thusly: "Because the needs of the one ...outweigh the needs of the many." His comments are not logical, but neither is this man, this _friend_, a logical being. Had he followed the logical course, I would be dead, his son would be alive, the crew would not be up on charges, and the _Enterprise _would be functional. I must endeavor to be worthy of my crewmates' devotion and sacrifice. My life was bought at a great price.

It takes my breath away.

END


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